Sitting in the wisdom of my truth I share with you today a personal story, an experience that brings a powerful message and carries a wound. At the age of 5, my father physically and sexually abused me. It went on for around 3 and half years. I barely remembered what happened until a year and half ago, around the same time I decided to become a full time healer and serve. I had vivid images from the physical abuse yet no recollection of the rest. I grew up sad, and angry with myself. This anger took over many areas of my life. Holding the pain deep within my heart. Hating my father, wanting his love and at the same time wanting to run away from him.
Around January 2014, I met a great loving soul that guided me into the realization of my sexual abuse and the conscious remembrance of it. Her name is Danisa. She is a movie producer, shaman and healer. As we talked, after a quick home meal at her house, she mentioned my over-weight dilemma. During that time, I was in a toxic relationship with someone and I had gained some of the weight lost throughout the years. I mentioned my fathers’ physical abuse. She explained to me how women that had gone through sexual abuse carry extra weight around their womb and hips, hiding their beauty and sexuality. As she said this I felt like I was consciously falling through a black whole. Old memories came rushing through, images, thoughts and excruciating pain all over my body. I couldn’t stand it. I then realized that my father had also sexually abuse me. Of course a part of me doubt it. I didn’t want to believe the memories popping up from my subconscious, the feelings rising up through my body. I wanted to deny it all. With her loving help and supportive energy I sat there, feeling my hips, covering my face in shame, crying in non-believe. It was intense and raw.
That night my whole world, my existence, was turned upside down. I was eager to heal and use all the knowledge and insight I remembered from past lives to help the process. I started to use my own healing techniques to peel, layer by layer, all the darkness that I was experiencing. I gained deeper understanding of my body’s overweight and the internal fight with my self-image. Things became clearer. As I grew deeper into my healing practices so did the process to heal abuse.
I am sharing this with you today because maybe you have also experience abusive situations. You might consciously know it, you might be afraid of it. Maybe there’s doubt, and your mind won’t accept the truth. Regardless, I know how it feels and the strength it takes to go through it and come out alive. You are not alone. There’s a higher truth, beyond your own comprehension, for all of it. I realized that love was the key to my own healing. Without it I was just “dead alive”. My experience served my higher purpose.
At some point along my journey I decided to put me first.
The anger, the sadness, the need to look for outside approval and love wasn’t strong enough to hold me back from my own empowerment. On the contrary, it served me as a tool to regain trust and reclaim my hearts’ truth.
My deepest desire is to help all of you, men and women, to heal these wounds and shift your life. I can’t say it is easy. It takes time, courage and dedication. I spend many hours feeling the pain running through my body, releasing the memory from my cells. They had witnessed and recorded everything. They need it my love and in order to heal.
This work has lead me back into a deeper connection with my sexuality and the woman I Am. Allowing me to embrace and embody a higher aspect of my being, the Goddess.
There’s always a way out of abuse and toxic relationships.
You must decide that you truly want it and it is done. You are that powerful. I have come today out of my “darkest hour” and so can you. Sharing a piece of my story has actually helped me pierce through all the last layers. I want the same for you. This is what I am here for.
I decided to create a healing method that will help the person energetically, consciously and physically through the process of remembering and owning their experience. Allowing their memories to be released and remind them of their true essence, which is light and love. Empowering them through their sex and bringing Heaven to Earth. Peace and Unity.
It is my intention that these words bring you closer to your own truth. That my journey helps you come forth to the embrace of your divine power. You can always reclaim yourself from abuse. Yes, it might be painful and intense yet there’s not reason to hold on to it. There is power in such experiences. There is hope. Love is waiting for you to open-up and claim it over your wounds.
In love, all is forgiven!